Actually I wasn't really sick, I only had a little bump on my neck and I felt fine until the doctors removed it and gave me the cure.  The cure was a chemotherapy dose made of 4 different poisons. It sent me to the emergency room and almost killed me.  Then came 2 more doses of it and radiation treatments too.  When I was done I felt worse than ever in my life.  I could feel the poison in every part of my body.  It damaged me and stayed in my body for a long time.    I felt like I was already half dead and there was a dark cloud over me all the time.  The side effects and the fear of cancer returning kept me stressed to the max all the time.  It was keeping me from getting better and I believe it was slowly killing me.  I just couldn't think straight and I was running scared.  Material things no longer had any value to me at all.  I even abandoned all my art work that I had in galleries. I didn't need it or want it anymore.  My wife and kids gave me a reason to live and they kept me going but everyday I lived in a bleak existence.  No longer the man I once was and what was left was slowly fading away.    I hate to have to mention this bad stuff but it's the only way to explain where I'm coming from. I'm glad to be back and to be alive.  It's a part of my past now but it will always effect my view of things and my art.     back